


Waking Up To Love

by pinkdiamonds



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-25
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 01:51:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkdiamonds/pseuds/pinkdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an alternate Jack is killed, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c take desperate measures to prevent it from happening in other realities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking Up To Love

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Astroskylark whose dream inspired this story. Although much of this story takes place in an alternate reality, it is not labeled as such since it involves the Jack from our reality. Mild spoiler for "Metamorphosis". Nominated for 2010 GateFic Awards.

### Alternate Reality

His body was dragged over to us and thrown like so much garbage.

“I regret your leader was not able to withstand our required telepathy procedures,” the Prime, white headed and dignified told us. There was no trace of regret in his face, just a smug, superior smile, his eyes proclaiming Jack’s life and death as meaningless.

I kneeled in disbelief, cradling Jack in my arms, too shocked to do anything else. Teal’c was the one who felt for a pulse, a pulse he couldn’t find. Sam saw the terrible truth in his eyes.

“No! You goddamn sons of bitches,” she screamed, raising her P-90, firing in broad arcs, killing the Prime and his entire retinue of forty priests. Once they all lay dead before us, I saw Teal’c had taken a protective stand in front of me, his staff weapon charged and ready to fire.

Sam kneeled down, sobbing loudly as she swept her hand through Jack’s silver hair. She checked Jack’s pulse, knowing but wanting to deny the truth of his death anyway. I could see her pulling herself together, bit by bit. The coldness I saw in her eyes surely matched the bleakness in mine.

We had both loved Jack, each in our own way. Sam, once in love with him had gotten over it, gotten over him. At least as much as it was possible to get over a force of nature like Jack. She’d graciously paved the way for me when she realized it was me he wanted.

She reached her hand out to me, petting my arm. “Daniel, I need your help here, please,” she asked. I saw her going through her pack and then reaching for Jack’s. When she was done, she had enough C-4 to blow every temple and building that surrounded the Stargate.

“We don’t have a lot of time, Daniel.” Her voice was hard and brittle, her intention plain. And god help me, I was going to help her destroy the bastards who had taken Jack from us.

We planted the explosives while Teal’c once again stood guard, protecting us. We set the explosives for twenty minutes, just enough time to get our story straight, dial out and make sure most of the population were in place to die.

Sam, now in charge refused to look at Jack’s body while I could barely take my eyes away. “We say nothing. Nothing! You especially, Daniel. We were taken prisoner, our packs and weapons confiscated, Jack was interrogated and … killed, they let us gate home. Can you do that?” Sam asked, her voice as harsh as I’d ever heard it.

Teal’c gave a tiny bow of his head as I nodded in agreement. Not say anything? Yeah, I could do that. If I talked about what we did here, what we were still planning on doing, it would be a court martial for Sam followed by jail time. I didn’t think I’d get a trial, at least not a public one but I had no illusions I wouldn’t end up in a prison cell as well. God only knew what would happen to Teal’c.

Mass murder and destruction of a people’s way of life wouldn’t bring Jack back, but neither would a prison sentence. I’d lie for Sam; I loved her. Once Sam had raised her gun it was done. The explosives were the only justice we’d be able to get for Jack and we understood even as we planted the C-4 it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough.

We knew once the people of P8J-186 heard the gate, they’d come to take care of the bodies that littered their religious and cultural center. We were counting on it. They’d be just in time to get blown up. Sam was going for the maximum body count, counting on the mourning of the population that inhabited the town near the Stargate. Since they were unable to access our minds, it would take them completely by surprise.

Teal’c took Jack in his arms as tenderly as he might have carried a child while I dialed home, feeling numb and disconnected from my surroundings. The thought of the rest of my life was almost more than I could bear; I just wanted to go somewhere and privately break down, to scream and cry, to sleep and forget.

********

All hell broke out when we reached the gateroom. Once it was understood Jack was dead, a somber hush took over the mountain. Janet hustled the three of us to the infirmary and I could hear the occasional harsh sob and the quiet murmurings of people grieving.

General Hammond came to the infirmary, his eyes reddened and filled with questions. Janet, struggling with her own emotions made it clear we could not be questioned until she was done examining us.

It soon became apparent that while we all seemed fine physically, the same could not be said for our mental state. Teal’c was as stoic as he usually was, but if you looked closely his jaw muscles were working hard and his hands trembled the slightest bit. I was still unwilling, unable to talk. I sat where they put me, shivering, numb and dry-eyed. Janet turned worried eyes to Sam when she started throwing up. Shaking convulsively, Sam curled up moaning on her bed.

“Shocked, General Hammond. They’re all suffering from shock. I’m going to give Major Carter and Daniel something, but maybe you can question Teal’c,” Janet said by way of explanation to the general’s unasked questions.

“No, not now, General Hammond. I will speak with you when Major Carter and DanielJackson are also able to do so. I made O’Neill a promise and I intend to keep that promise,” Teal’c said with great dignity.

I could only imagine what that promise was, but Teal’c’s word was ironclad. If he’d made Jack a promise, only death would keep him from it.

“I understand Teal’c. Doctor, I want to know the minute Doctor Jackson and Major Carter can be debriefed.”

“I’ll let you know, Sir.”

**********

Two days later, the three of us sat in the briefing room and lied our asses off. I know Sam and Teal’c thought I was the weak link but if I could have I would have gone back and nuked the whole fucking planet. There was no way I’d ever tell anyone about the actions we took on that godforsaken planet.

General Hammond didn’t bother to ask me too many questions. He just wanted me to confirm whatever Sam and Teal’c told him, which I was happy to do. He’d known the relationship between me and Jack was closer than military regulations allowed for and was going out of his way to allow me time and space to grieve.

**********

It rained the day of Jack’s funeral. I stood at his grave between Sam and Teal’c, protected by them and supported by them. I hadn’t cried yet. The pain of losing Jack was too deep even for tears. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get through the rest of my life.

When they gave the folded flag that had draped Jack’s coffin to Sara, she turned and handed it to me. Jack had never hidden our relationship from those he trusted. I was grateful Sara was able to be so generous to me.

Sam insisted on coming back to my house with me. I hadn’t actually lived there for several years. I’d spent all of my time at Jack’s house, keeping mine for appearances sake only. But I couldn’t face going home to our home just yet. There were too many memories there, memories I was in no way prepared to face yet.

Company, even Sam’s was the last thing I wanted, but she said she had to talk to me about something important. Teal’c insisted on joining us when he saw we were leaving together. It seemed he too had something of great importance to tell me.

Returning to my small house was easier on us all. I was now thankful Sam and Teal’c had insisted on accompanying me to the cold and unlived in house. They made it easy to face the echoing silence I knew would greet me and allowed me to avoid thinking of the day when I would have to go home; to my real home, the one Jack and I had made together.

Sam insisted on a quick stop to pick up a few things and when we arrived Sam made coffee while Teal’c and I waited in the living room. The day was still gloomy and dark and I was sick of the rain. I didn’t bother to open the drapes and turned on several small table lamps.

When Sam joined us, she passed around the coffee and I saw her and Teal’c exchange a look. It was painfully obvious to me that whatever they had to tell me had already been discussed between the two of them. Sam nodded for Teal’c to begin.

“DanielJackson, did you know O’Neill wished to retire while you were with the ascended?”

“Uh, no.” I hadn’t known. How could I? Jack and I rarely discussed the year I was away. Whenever it got mentioned, it seemed to cause him pain, so we just never discussed it.

“Four months after you left, O’Neill confessed something he was profoundly troubled about to me. O’Neill had done something he believed was a betrayal of the love he felt for you. He deeply regretted he was unable to acknowledge his love for you until it was too late. It was then he told me he had been considering retirement.”

I didn’t know what to say or even think about this statement. I looked at Sam and saw her flush and guiltily look away. Knowing Sam as well as I did, I figured I’d get answers to her odd behavior in time.

“DanielJackson, three years ago when you were returned to us, O’Neill asked me for a promise. He asked for my word that should anything ever happen to him, I would look out for you and do what I could to ensure your happiness. This was no casual promise, DanielJackson. He wanted to ensure not only your safety, but also your peace of mind. I vowed I would kill or die for you and go to whatever lengths were necessary to fulfill my promise.”

Sam looked at Teal’c and threw back her shoulders as if for courage. “Daniel, Jack told Teal’c after you two got together. He made Teal’c swear a blood oath.”

“Okay, but Teal’c would’ve looked after me anyway. What am I missing here?”

“Daniel, when you were gone, Jack and I slept together. Once.”

“Wha …? But Jack told me it was you who encouraged him to admit his feelings to me!”

“I did, Daniel. Try to understand. We were both grieving for you. I went over to his house … and things just … went a little too far. We’d both had a little too much to drink and it just happened. Jack needed … human contact I guess but it wasn’t me that he needed or wanted. When Jack woke up the next morning, he cried like a baby, Daniel. He felt like he cheated on you. When you came back to us, I told him he had to tell you how he felt about you. I wanted him, both of you really, to be happy.”

“Why the fuck tell me this now, Sam?” I asked angrily.

She grabbed my hand and looked at me with gleaming eyes and whispered, “A second chance, Daniel. For both of us. Teal’c is sworn to help and I have a plan.”

“What second chance?” I screamed. “Jack is dead in case you hadn’t fucking noticed!” I was angry, at Sam, at life, even at Jack.

‘DanielJackson, calm yourself. Major Carter’s plan has merit and it is a chance O’Neill would have insisted you take,” Teal’c said.

“Listen to me, Daniel. Please. Just give me a chance to explain. The quantum mirror. You know I’ve been experimenting with it for years, since we found it in fact. Our reality is different in one very important way than any of the other ones I’ve seen.”

“Different how?”

“Well, we’ve been going through the gate a lot longer.”

“How could you possibly know that, Sam?”

“Up until four years ago, the mirror wasn’t on Earth in any reality I could find. It’s possible I didn’t look hard enough, but I don’t think so. Then boom, suddenly the mirror starts to show up at Area 51 in reality after reality. Not all at once, mind you. After about a year, the mirror was in Area 51 in every reality I looked at. I can only assume it was found on the same planet we found ours on. But four years ago, Daniel, not ten. And they didn’t end up at the base. ”

“In every reality I’ve seen so far where the Goa’uld haven’t taken over the Earth, the mirror was at Area 51 being worked on occasionally until about a year ago. That’s when the mirrors in the alternate realities started showing up in my labs. Again, I’ve got no idea why the mirror starts to show up at the SGC.”

“As to the how, I’ve got a dozen theories, but no answers as to why a time difference could occur in realities that seem so close to us in every other regard. It’s not a huge difference when you consider how old the universe is, but it’s enough of a difference for my plan to work.”

“And how does that equate to a second chance?” I couldn’t see where Sam was going with this. My brain felt sluggish, unable to make the leaps it so often did when Sam started talking up a plan.

“Two ways, Daniel. You know Jack had the ancient gene, right?”

I nodded my head in agreement, completely lost. I wished she’d make her point already and leave. As much as I was glad Sam and Teal’c had come home with me I now wanted them gone. I didn’t know how much more emotion I could take without falling apart.

“We’re gonna steal the mirror, gate out to the Land of Light and then gate to P3X-367, Nirrti’s planet. We do a little gene fixing for telepathy on as many Jacks as we can get to.” Sam was rushing to get the words out; it was obvious she’d planned the whole thing out in her head. “We also start looking for realities where we can be with Jack.”

“We, Sam?”

She drew herself up and looked straight into my eyes, allowing me to see what she’d kept hidden for the last three years. “We, Daniel. After that night, I knew how much Jack loved you, but I also know how much I loved him. I loved him and you enough to get out of the way.”

I squeezed Sam’s hand and studied her closely. She now let me see more than just the love she’d kept hidden. I wondered what the last years had cost her; watching Jack suffer when I’d been gone, knowing even then she couldn’t have him and then watching the two of us fall deeper and deeper in love, day after day and year after year. I’d have given up a lot to erase the pain I saw. It wasn’t only her love for Jack that caused such pain; it was also her love for me. She’d given up her own dreams of being with Jack because she loved us both.

“Daniel, I know it won’t be exactly the same, but it’s still a chance to be with Jack.”

Sighing, I knew I owed it to Sam to at least finish hearing her out. I didn’t think she got it though, got me. Just because there were other Jack’s out there, it didn’t make them Jack’s either one of us could build a life with. I wasn’t prepared to tackle that subject, yet I was curious about the ancient gene connection. I was more than willing to save as many Jacks as possible from such a senseless and meaningless death.

Although I’d been ascended during that particular mission, I’d read all the mission reports when I returned, so I knew about the gene manipulation machine. I knew about the damage and mutations it caused as well. “How does the fact that Jack had the ancient gene figure into all of this?”

“All of the ancient technology Jack was able to use is accessible through some sort of telepathy. The technology seems to be directly linked to the users mind. Of course you have to have the ancient gene, but still. All we need to do is stimulate and boost the telepathic genes. I don’t think it would take all that much manipulation. It makes sense that all the other Jacks will have the ancient gene.”

“And what’s to stop General Hammond from sending in the Marines to stop us once we steal the mirror?”

A wicked smile crossed Sam’s face. “I’m gonna erase the address out of the computer. And if we gate out to the Land of Light, then gate out from there it’s impossible to track us. If we have the mirror, it’ll be assumed we’re looking for another reality to live in. Daniel, I really don’t think they’ll put it together, but I’ll disable the gate on 367 when we get there. It’s not like we can’t send the mirror back once we find a new home, Daniel.”

“You realize this could take years?”

“I can’t go through the gate right now, Daniel, not on missions. Not after what happened, not after what I did,” Sam answered, maybe with the only answer she had. Like me, Sam had always had a high moral compass. I think she hoped saving other realities the grief that had been inflicted on us would make it easier to live with what we’d done.

“You mean what we both did.”

Sam looked over and smiled. She knew I was on board. It took the rest of the night to work out the details of the plan. It was vital we leave no clues and that meant we would have to leave most everything behind. As we planned to make our escape in the middle of the night, it meant staying on base not only for a practice run, but also so we wouldn’t raise any suspicions. Teal’c lived on base and I didn’t think anyone would be all that surprised if either Sam or I used our work as a method to deal with Jack’s death.

It would be difficult to get through the gate without hurting anyone and we were prepared to zat whoever got in our way. We knew we’d have to take out anyone in or near the gate room and control room.

Two things Sam made clear; we could never come back without facing jail time and we had to go before Hammond scheduled us for another mission. He had let us know we weren’t on the rotation schedule for at least the next four weeks at which time he would consider if we were sufficiently fit for duty. None of us were willing to wait that long and so we decided to go within two weeks.

**********

Ten days later we were ready to go save Jack in as many realities as we could and look for a reality in which we could find love or at least a new life. Sam was happy, as happy as she could be living with guilt, regret, pain and grief. I think she was looking forward to making a new start.

I was still grieving deeply and unsure about that part of her plan. Part of me recognized if Sam found a Jack she could love it would mean being separated from her. As much as I wanted her to be happy I didn’t know how I could let her go and if I chose to stay with her I didn’t know how I could see her with Jack and be happy for them, not when I loved Jack as much as I did. There was no way Sam had thought through that part of her plan.

We’d done our trial run and it all went smoothly. 0300 hours was the quietest time at the SGC with the least amount of people working or wandering about. We left two days after our trial run, Teal’c running interference for us before he joined us in the gate room. He’d refused to allow either Sam or I to take care of any stray personnel in the way. When the people recovered from the effects of the zat all they’d be able to tell anyone was Teal’c had attacked them.

Teal’c was coming with us but hadn’t made any decisions about the future and what he wanted to do after Sam and I found a place. He was weighed down by the oath he’d made to Jack and his obligation to me. Teal’c had loved Jack also; his every action over the last weeks proved it and his promise to see me taken care of proved his love for me.

When we arrived in the Land of Light, the gate was unguarded as usual and too far away from the population to be heard by anybody. We immediately dialed out to P3X-367 and made our way to the village and Nirrti’s gene machine. We were met by Wodan and Egar who were both saddened to hear of Jack’s death and the manner in which he was killed. When we explained our plans to them they were willing to help us. They felt they owed Jack for allowing them to see the truth and helping to free their people from Nirrti and her insane search for the perfect host.

Egar was sure he’d be able to manipulate the specific genes needed for telepathy with no harm to Jack and he was willing to teach Sam the procedure. Sam explained that the Jacks he’d be meeting would have no knowledge of him, Wodan or of the planet and all that had been done. Egar, surprisingly open minded about the entire situation told us this would be his way of repaying the large debt he felt he owed Jack and SG1.

**********

We put the mirror in close proximity to the gene manipulation machine, but turned in such a way that no other reality looking in would be able to see us. Hopefully, all the Jacks would understand we were friends and meant him no harm. None of us fooled ourselves into thinking we’d get a Special Ops trained colonel through the mirror without a serious struggle so we decided the safest way to go would be to zat him and carry him through.

We thought we’d probably have to zat the alternate Carters and any staff working in her lab as well. From there it would be a small matter of getting Jack down to Sam’s lab, rendering him unconscious, getting him to the other side of the mirror and giving him some gene therapy. We were planning on doing as much observation as possible to minimize casualties but always keeping our second goal in mind of finding another reality in which we could make a new life with Jack.

Egar thought after we took the first Jack and he could get a look at his DNA, he’d be able to do the manipulation fairly quickly, perhaps in under an hour. He insisted on time spent training Jack to use his new ability and that would take much longer, at least a week. It was a good idea and something neither Sam nor I had even considered. Knowing Jack, he was going to be fairly pissed about being kidnapped and enhanced and it was better to have a plan in which to present to him immediately. Safer too.

It took a few days to get our plans in order and then we were ready to start taking Jacks from their realities and bringing them to ours.

### The SGC

“Sir, can you come down to my lab for a few minutes? I’ve found something I think you should see,” Carter gushed into the phone. As this was the third time in as many weeks I’d been called down to her lab to see some supposed great discovery with absolutely no pay off, I took my time.

Strolling casually into her lab, I saw Carter fiddling with the quantum mirror. Biting back a warning to be careful, I saw Daniel in the corner of my eye. Surprised he was here, I turned to say hello and had just enough time to see him raise his zat before he opened fire.

### Alternate Reality

I awoke with a pounding headache and a fierce thirst. Not wanting to alert anyone, I kept my eyes shut and carefully reached out with my other senses trying to figure out where I was and how much danger I was in. Sensing nothing, I opened my eyes and found myself in a small room. There wasn’t anything that could be used as a weapon and the only things in the room were the narrow bed I’d been lying on and a canteen of water on a built in shelf, which I drank. As I wasn’t restrained in any way, I went through the unlocked door only to run into Teal’c.

“Teal’c, buddy. Any idea why Daniel would zat me?” I asked. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on but I thought Daniel must have been under some sort of alien influence. Why else would he zat me? I also knew I was no longer at the SGC. I didn’t recognize the room I’d been in or the hallway I was currently standing in. I wasn’t quite ready to trust Teal’c until I figured out what was going on.

“Indeed, O’Neill. DanielJackson and Major Carter felt it would be necessary in order to bring you here.”

“And where would here be?”

“You are in an alternate reality, O’Neill. On P3X-367, a world which was once under the control of Nirrti.”

“Ah,” I said as Teal’c walked me to yet another room. I immediately saw the quantum mirror; along with the remote Carter thought could be used to dial up specific realities. There were other devices, which I couldn’t begin to identify, but remembering Nirrti’s penchant for human experimentation, I began to worry. Daniel and Carter soon joined us, along with two men dressed in rough, homespun clothing.

“Sir, I trust you’re feeling better?”

“Just fine, Carter. Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I will, Sir. In a few minutes. This is Wooden and Egar.”

“Pleasure,” I barked. “Carter, what the hell is going on?”

“Sir, could you step up here please?” Carter asked.

“Oh, I don’t think so!”

“Sir, I’m gonna have to insist. I promise we’ll explain everything very soon.”

“Jack, just do it. We’re not here to hurt you, I promise,” Daniel said, once again pointing a zat at me. I looked at Daniel closer than I had looked at Carter and suddenly knew Teal’c had been telling me the truth. This Daniel, Carter and Teal’c weren’t from my reality. Daniel looked older, his face more lined than my Daniel who looked impossibly young. This Daniel’s eyes were harder and emptier with none of light I’d come to … anticipate when Daniel was excited about some new discovery or when he saw me. Even this Daniel’s voice was different, quiet and even, flat.

I saw I had no choice and so I stepped up onto the platform Carter had indicated, while she stood by a control panel working the controls. I was surrounded by light coming down from the large roundish structure over the platform, which coalesced into a double helix, a really big strand of DNA. I couldn’t move and I felt a weird tingle running through my body. It wasn’t painful but I felt it sapping my strength. I felt my knees buckling and the only thing holding me up was the energy the light was giving off. My vision grayed, the room spun wildly and I went down.

I woke on the narrow bed once again, a dull roar sounding in my ears. I did a quick inventory and found that I was in one piece and nothing hurt. That was always good. Opening my eyes, threat assessing automatically, I saw Egar sitting on the floor staring at me.

“How do you feel, Colonel O’Neill?”

“I’d be a hell of lot better if someone would tell me what the fuck was going on.”

“I’ll get Major Carter for you. We were only waiting for you to awaken, Colonel.”

“Good. You do that. Go get Major Carter.” If I didn’t start getting answers soon, I’d be breaking some heads sooner rather than later. This might be an alternate reality and all but I’m sure this Carter still understood she was teetering dangerously on the edge of insubordination.

“Sir, glad to see you up and about. Have a seat so I can explain what’s going on here.”

I gave Carter my best glower and sat on the edge of the bed. This Carter, like Daniel, looked older and harder than the one in my reality. I had a feeling if I didn’t sit no answers would be forthcoming.

“Colonel, I realize this is going to be difficult to understand. The Jack in this reality died, was killed because he wasn’t telepathic. We were on P8J-186 and the indigenous population make first contact through telepathy. Our physiology is just different enough that they couldn’t access our minds. The process they use is … lethal to those without telepathy. It was a senseless, meaningless death.”

“So, what? You kidnapped me to replace your Jack O’Neill?”

“Not quite, Sir. The machine we used on you allowed us to alter several specific genes. Genes related to telepathy.”

“You couldn’t have, you know, just given me the address of the planet where Jack died?” I asked, trying to stomp down my fear. A smile tried to make it’s way across Carter’s face and didn’t quite make it.

“The thing is, Sir … our realities may be different in some pretty significant ways. I had no way of knowing if the coordinates would even be the same.”

“Different?”

“We’ve been gating for over ten years. I’m sure you’ve noticed we look different in your reality than in this reality.”

“Yeah, I noticed, Carter.”

“You’ve been at it for what? Three, four years?”

“That sounds about right,” I answered her. If she had really worked with a version of me, she’d know I wasn’t going to give her any specific information. I didn’t much care if she was Carter or not; I knew she had an agenda and I wasn’t about to help her in any way until I was sure what that agenda was.

“In about twelve hours you’ll start feeling the effects of the genes we manipulated. Egar is going to train you to use the telepathy so it doesn’t interfere in your life. You never have to use it, but you’ll be able to if you need to.”

“Look, Carter,” I began, not quite sure how to reach this woman. My Carter I knew how to get to. This woman seemed nearly alien to me, cold yet impossibly fragile. I wondered what had happened in her life to turn her from the warm, vibrant person I knew to this no-nonsense, hardened person. “Just reverse it, please. No harm, no foul and no one ever has to know.”

A smile crossed her face for the first time. “If I had a nickel,” she said. “You’ve said the same thing to me a couple of dozen times now. Daniel will be bringing in something for you to eat and you’ll start training after you’ve slept. It’ll take about a week.”

“So, can’t change your mind then?”

“Afraid not, Sir.”

Carter left me alone, giving me too much time to think and to give in to my fears. I was pissed as hell that anyone felt they had the right to use alien technology in order to fuck with my genes, no matter the stated reason. I didn’t know what this would mean for me and how it would affect my life, my career or my relationships. How many people would want to work with me or be with me if they knew I could read their minds?

Daniel came in with a tray piled high with food and a stein of something that looked and smelled like beer. Leave it to Daniel; even in another reality he was thoughtful and generous. “Hi, Jack. How’re you feeling?” he asked me.

Although I knew instinctively this wasn’t his plan, I couldn’t help but take it out on him. “Just peachy, Daniel. Thrilled. Just love having Carter fuck around with my DNA.” I knew I was being totally unfair, but Daniel was there and didn’t scare me in the way this Carter did. He may not have scared me in the same way but there was still something … off with him. His eyes were still dead looking, but somehow hungry looking as well. “Also loved being zatted by you, thanks.”

“Would you have come if we’d told you our plans?”

“Doubt it, “ I answered. “So what happens now?”

“Just what Sam told you. You eat, sleep and start to learn how to use the telepathy. Or rather, how not to use it.”

“Not even gonna touch that one, Daniel. Tell me this, do I get to go home after this training?” I bit out sarcastically.

“Yeah, Jack. You go home after that.”

I really didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I sighed, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to be left alone now.”

“Sure, Jack. If you need anything, someone will be right outside the door.”

Of that, I had no doubt.

**********

I didn’t sleep well for obvious reasons. After I tossed and turned for four or five hours I opened the door to find Daniel standing guard. “I’m ready to start now,” I told him, figuring if this wasn’t reversible, I’d better get some kind of control over it.

“Egar’s still sleeping. If it’s okay with you I can start explaining what you’ll need to know.”

“”Yeah, it’s okay, Danny.” I saw his face pale at the nickname only I used with my Daniel. No one else was close enough to the Daniel in my reality to use a nickname with him but I thought this Daniel’s reaction was a little extreme.

“Alright, Jack. The first thing you need to know is unless you’re concentrating, you won’t be able to get into any ones’ mind, not in any significant way. The only time you’ll get thoughts or emotions without looking for them is if someone is feeling strong emotion around you and you don’t have any defenses in place. If you’re not thinking anything in particular, just relaxed and zoning out you might pick up stray thoughts here and there. Egar’s gonna show you how to put up barriers against strong emotions and stray thoughts.”

“So, unless I choose to I won’t be able to read minds?”

“Pretty much, Jack. If you are concentrating you’ll be able to get thoughts and feelings. If you’re close to someone, you’ll be able to get memories. You also have to learn to open your mind to allow another telepath in.”

“Daniel, I’d really like you to undo this. I don’t think I can live this way.”

“Trouble is, Jack, if we didn’t do it you’d die on an away mission in about seven years.”

“You can’t know that!” I screamed.

“I do know it, Jack! You died, that’s why we’re doing this.” His voice was harsh and rasping, his eyes bleak when he screamed at me. Daniel was the best friend I’d ever had and it made me sick to think my death would cause him to react in such a way.

“One other thing, Jack. Sam and I think it’s best if you kept this to yourself. When you get back home, tell them you don’t know what happened or why you were kidnapped. There’s no technology to pinpoint such small changes in your DNA. If the NID finds out, you’ll be a lab rat for the rest of your life.”

Way ahead of you, Danny. I’d already thought this through and knew I couldn’t tell anyone without taking the chance I’d lose my freedom. Plus, even if I managed to stay out of the grasp of the goons from NID I knew they’d stop letting me gate. Either scenario was unacceptable. I already had a cover story in mind.

There seemed to be nothing left to say. Daniel left, telling me Egar would be soon be joining me.

***********

Egar came in with another tray of food and insisted I eat while he talked.

“Colonel, before you can be around other people, you must learn to have barriers in your mind already in place. Pick an image such as locking yourself in a room or being surrounded by high stone walls.”

“Practice while you eat. Just see yourself in your mind in a locked room or behind those walls. In less time than you think, this will become an automatic process, much like using your weapons are to you.”

I very clearly imagined myself surrounded by a circular stonewall, an impenetrable and tall tower like structure. It was easy enough to do; yet I failed to see how this was going to help me learn to use and not use telepathy.

“Is your image clear, Colonel?”

“The image is clear but nothing else is,” I said.

“What image did you choose?”

“A stone tower,” I told him, feeling foolish for some reason. When I thought of towers I thought of fairy tales and when I thought of fairy tales I thought of Daniel. My Daniel, or rather the Daniel from my reality.

“Good. Now, Colonel, I’m going to ask you to remove the tower, slowly. After the tower is down I want you to look at me and try to see into my mind. Concentrate. I will be thinking of a color. When you get the color, rebuild your tower.”

I took the stones of my tower down and did as Egar instructed. At first nothing happened and I was relieved, thinking whatever the fuck Carter thought she’d done to me hadn’t worked. Then my mind was flooded with images; yards of a soft blue silky material, the aching blue of a brilliant autumn sky and the rolling waves of an ocean. I heard the word blue shouted over and over in my mind and I put my tower back quickly. The images faded along with the shouts.

“Crap, that hurt,” I yelled, giving Egar a reproachful glare.

“We must work together to find out how much of the tower you need to leave in place. Take the tower down one row at a time trying to get into my mind after each row is gone.”

I did as Egar instructed. What choice did I have? I had to get a handle on this otherwise I’d be out of a job and in a lab. We worked steadily for the next three hours until I could figure out exactly how much of my mental tower I needed to leave intact.

When I was able to get images and thoughts from Egar’s mind without being overwhelmed by them I was exhausted. He left me so I could rest, telling me he’d be back to work with me in a few hours.

When he returned we worked some more until he thought I had some protection in place. This would work well with those who were not themselves telepathic but tomorrow I’d have to learn how to open my mind to those who were. The hardest lessons would be learned with those whose emotions were strong and apparently it would take two more days before I could even make the attempt.

Letting another telepath in was just a matter of keeping the tower somewhat open. It was difficult to learn only in that the natural instinct was to close your mind in order to protect it. As Egar explained it, he still had some telepathic powers left over from the gene manipulations Nirrti had subjected him to.

Letting Egar into my mind was an unpleasant experience, one I hoped never to repeat. I fully intended getting details of the mission that killed Jack O’Neill in this reality so I could avoid it at all cost. Didn’t matter if I would survive now that I was telepathic; the thought of aliens crawling around in my head was unnerving.

Egar brought Wodan in to see how I did reading his mind and it was a wild success. We spent two days building my defenses and them knocking them down until it all became automatic and second nature. The real test would come tomorrow with Daniel, Carter and Teal’c.

**********

Teal’c joined me in my room at first light. Bowing his head, he then folded his  
legs and sat gracefully on the floor. “I am ready, O’Neill.”

I took down enough of my tower to get into his mind and concentrated. ‘The Goa’uld are false gods’ I heard clearly. I repeated the thought and saw a slight smile letting me know I’d succeeded. Not much of a test in my opinion.

‘Give me something else, Teal’c.”

‘I kept my promise, O’Neill.’ I wasn’t sure what that meant and tried to go deeper into his mind. I always knew Teal’c was disciplined but even his mind was well ordered. Every time I tried to dig deeper, I ran into a barrier. I wondered if it would be the same with people who didn’t know I was now a telepath.

“What promise did you keep?” I asked, building up my tower automatically.

“I will tell you before you leave this place, O’Neill. You were successful in reading my mind. It is now DanielJackson’s turn to have his mind read.”

Daniel entered the room dragging in a chair, which he placed close to the bed. We were practically knee-to-knee, unusually intimate given how little the Daniel I knew reached out to touch anyone.

I concentrated, lowered the wall and was flooded with images and feelings almost too fast to take in. Daniel jumping through a window, naked in a field, taking me in his arms, kissing, making love, grief, tears, grief, rage, pain, love and yet more grief.

I reeled back on the bed, my tower going up so fast I was hardly aware and the flood of information stopped.

I was shaking, just falling apart. I tried to make sense of what I’d seen and couldn’t. I lowered the tower just a tad and tried again. Either Daniel got himself under control or I’d put enough barriers in place to keep from being overwhelmed.

All I got this time was love, images of Jack and Daniel making love, kissing and holding each other. Image after image and memory after memory. Passion, heat, tenderness all surrounded by a deep, aching love that ended.

“I’m sorry, Jack. You have no idea how hard it is to see you, so many of you and know that I’m going to lose you again. I don’t know how it is in your reality, but in this one, Jack and I were able to overcome our fears and love each other.”

“It’s not like that in my reality, Daniel.”

“Isn’t it, Jack?”

“No, Daniel, just … no. My Daniel just lost Sha’re.”

“What’s that got to do with the way you feel?”

I had no answer to that question, no answer I wanted to look at too closely anyway.

“My Jack told me he knew he loved me even before I lost Sha’re. The thing is, Jack, I loved him too. We were both too scared to do anything about it though. It took another … tragedy I guess you’d call it, before we got it together.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t feel that way about my Daniel. He’s the best friend I ever had but that’s ALL he is,” I spit out, knowing I was lying, knowing I could never admit what I felt for Daniel, not even to myself most days. When I’d gotten the images of Jack and Daniel making love, I hated the Jack from this reality. He’d had what I’d only dreamed of, wished for, and wanted with every fiber of my being.

Daniel moved then, as fast as I’d ever seen him move before. He knocked me flat on the bed, his body stretched over mine, holding me. “Are you sure, Jack? Sure Daniel’s just your best friend?” He slanted his lips over mine and kissed me, hungry for my mouth and god, I couldn’t help myself, I kissed him back just as hungry for him.

I got hard and thrust up, wanting, needing the friction. Daniel moved off me, breathing hard and looking absolutely lost. “At least be honest with yourself, Jack, even if you can’t be honest with your Daniel.” He then turned and left the room.

I hadn’t gotten myself together when Carter made her appearance. I was still hard and aching, wanting and needing Daniel, my Daniel. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see into this Carter’s mind. I was already feeling anxious about what I might find there.

“I’m ready, Sir.”

I took down my tower slowly and concentrated on Carter. Once again my mind was flooded with images but I was in control this time. I saw Carter and Jack making love and Jack weeping in Carter’s arms. I heard ‘I love you’ over and over and over and felt Carter’s love for Jack.

“What the hell is going on in this reality, Carter? Jack was fucking you and Daniel?”

She managed to look offended and embarrassed at the same time. “Look again,” she told me.

I concentrated once again and saw Daniel, a sick and dying Daniel in the infirmary at the SGC. I heard Carter, Jack and Teal’c discussing Daniel’s ascension to a higher plane when his body could not be healed. I saw her and Jack in his house drinking and mourning, saw him crying in her arms, telling her he was in love with Daniel. I saw Daniel’s return to life and Carter urging Jack to let Daniel know, to give up his fear and grab on to happiness.

I was getting confused between myself and the Jack that belonged to this reality. “Let me get this straight, pun so not intended. Daniel died, you and Jack hit the sack even though he was apparently in love with Daniel, Daniel came back, they got together and you were okay with this because you love Jack?”

“That’s about it, Sir. Only Daniel didn’t really die. Have you met Oma Desala yet?”

I grunted assent, thinking about the powerful being we had met on Kheb in our search for the Harsesis child.

“Daniel became like Oma, an ascended energy being. But then he came back to us and the two of you have been together since then.”

I was thinking fast now, the thought of losing Daniel spurring me on. I needed to get Carter thinking about how, when and where Daniel died so I could prevent it. This telepathy shit must be good for something besides saving my sorry ass. I wasn’t about to let Daniel get hurt in any way, not if I could prevent it. “So,” I asked Carter casually, “how did Daniel die?” My tower was now down all the way; I needed everything she could give me.

“He prevented a bomb from exploding on a planet called Kelowna and received a lethal dose of radiation.”

I was concentrating on Carter like mad and went deep into her mind. I felt the sadness but more importantly, I saw the planet, Jonas Quinn and the Stargate address along with the aftermath of the accident that caused Daniel’s death. Even if the Stargate address was different, I had enough information to give to my Carter to figure it out. I refused to think of it as ascension, my mind couldn’t wrap itself around that concept.

“I guess your SGC is a real soap opera, what with Jack and Daniel and you and Jack. Anything else I should know about, Carter?” I asked in a change of subject. I’d gotten what I needed and Carter didn’t look as though she knew I had been deep in her head. It looked like I’d be able to pull off having telepathy with no one the wiser.

“A few more things, Sir. We’ll get to it in the next few days. As far as a soap opera goes, we’re a family, Colonel O’Neill. We’ve been together more than ten years,” she said proudly with a lift of her chin, refusing to apologize or back down.

A family. I got that, it’s exactly the way I felt about my team. All I wanted to do now was go home. “So, tell me, Carter. When do I get to blow this popsicle stand?”

“A few more days and you’ll be back in your own reality.”

**********

I spent most of the next three days with Daniel. I practiced reading his thoughts, emotions and memories. I saw what brought him, Carter and Teal’c to this planet, the mass murder they’d committed because of my death. I tried and just could not imagine my team acting in the same way, or maybe I didn’t want to once I saw the damage and hurt such killing had inflicted on these alternates. Unfortunately, I could easily imagine myself killing and blowing the shit out of temples and people, especially if I’d lost someone I loved for no good reason at all.

Daniel let me see the pain he’d suffered after his Jack’s death. Life and more than his share of pain had tempered this Daniel. Because of Jack’s death he was brittle and I thought it wouldn’t take much to break him. I saw him seeking solace in the arms of Jacks from reality after reality, only then allowing himself the release of tears. I allowed him what every other Jack had allowed; I loved Daniel no matter the reality and held him while he sobbed out his grief.

He also let me see his and Carter’s search for a Jack that could love them, a Jack whose reality they could join. I knew any Jack would love any Daniel but I didn’t know what the hell Carter was gonna do. I’d seen two Jacks settle for Carter, but those realities had no Daniels.

The rest of the time we spent holding each other, exchanging drugging kiss after drugging kiss and groaning into each other’s mouths. I wouldn’t allow it to go further although he was tempting as sin. If I hadn’t had my Daniel waiting at home for me, I would have taken this one with me. The more time I spent with him, the more I knew I could love him for his sake and not just because he was a version of my Daniel. I was nearly constantly hard, aching and wanting and utterly unable to deny Daniel or myself the soft, heated kisses that grew more passionate the longer we spent together.

I spent the last night on P3X-367 with Daniel sleeping in my arms. At sunrise Carter came to get me and I woke Daniel. I kissed that lush mouth one last time, feeling his tears against my face. “Tell your Daniel how you feel,” he whispered in my ear.

“I don’t know that I can, Daniel. I don’t think he feels the same way.”

“He does, Jack. He loves you, I love you. He can’t not love you.”

I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance to taste my Daniel, didn’t know if my Daniel felt the same as this one so I kissed his tears away and looked one last time into Daniel’s mind. I felt his pain and his love and I rebuilt my tower before his pain overwhelmed me. I had enough of my own pain at leaving him to deal with anymore.

I followed Carter knowing Daniel wouldn’t be joining us. Saying goodbye to Jacks from different realities was difficult for him. I was glad he was staying put; if he came with me I might be forced back to my reality in tears and I didn’t think I could adequately explain Colonel Jack O’Neill crying.

Teal’c met us at the mirror. “O’Neill, I promised to take care of DanielJackson. I have done so and will continue to do so.”

I could well imagine myself asking Teal’c for such a promise given my feelings for Daniel and it was good to know he was an honorable man no matter the reality. “Thanks,” I said. I was touched that a promise made to another me was being honored. I got the feeling Teal’c told this to every Jack he encountered. I was confident I was leaving Daniel with people who cared for him.

Carter used the remote and dialed up what she said was my reality. I still wasn’t happy about what had been done to me but obtaining information that could save Daniel was worth any price to me. It also didn’t hurt that I’d gotten some insight into a version of Daniel who loved me as much as I loved him.

I gave Carter a brief hug, touched the surface of the quantum mirror, felt a tingle and was back in Carter’s office in my reality. I looked into the mirror to say goodbye to Carter. She gave me a wave, fiddled with the remote and then was gone.

### The SGC

I heard a gruff voice telling me to turn around slowly. I turned away from the mirror to find two SF’s pointing their weapons at me, their bodies tense and nervous. I put my hands behind my head and grinned.

“Hey, guys. Wanna tell me why you’re pointing those at me?” I asked.

“Sir, Colonel O’Neill has been missing for the last week. Major Carter and two of her lab assistants were found unconscious behind a desk,” one of the SF’s said tersely.

“If it makes you feel any better, I was zatted and I never saw them.”

“Sir, we have orders to bring you General Hammond immediately.”

I already knew that Carter and two techs had been zatted when the alternate Carter, Teal’c and Daniel came for me. They’d been taking Jacks and zatting him to get him through the mirror and anyone else who got in their way.

General Hammond joined us in the briefing room. The base had been put on full alert after I was taken and Carter and the techs attacked. She suspected I’d been taken through the mirror and had been working on a systematic search for me ever since.

The General sat and looked up as Daniel, Carter, Teal’c and Doctor Fraiser walked in.

“Jack.”

“O’Neill, it is good to see you.”

“Colonel,” Carter and Janet said at the same time.

I smiled at them all trying to show them how very glad I was to be home with my team, my family and in my reality. I was tempted to start looking into minds but was afraid I’d be overwhelmed by too many emotions. For now my tower was firmly in place, the walls sealed up tight. If I was gonna get away with the lies I was about to tell, I had to keep all distractions at bay.

“Colonel, would you care to tell us where you’ve been for the past week?” the General asked. I could tell he was being cautious, more so than usual. He wasn’t sure who I was yet, if I was the Jack that belonged to this reality. It’s what my suspicions would be in his place.

“As far as I can tell, General, I was taken to a different reality. I received a phone call from Carter; at least I thought it was Carter. When I got to her lab, Daniel zatted me and I woke up in a small locked room. I saw an alternate Daniel, Carter and Teal’c. I was kept in the room the entire time and the only thing I was told was their Jack had been killed on a mission,” I reported succinctly and in nearly one breath. I was sticking as close to the truth as possible, leaving out everything else that could cost me my job and possibly my freedom.

I couldn’t tell the General about the gene manipulation, the telepathy, the time I spent with Daniel, his relationship with Jack, Carter’s relationship with Jack or my feelings about our Daniel.

“What do you think these alternates wanted, Jack?”

“Unknown, Sir. I wasn’t given enough information. I hardly ever saw them.”

“Maybe they were looking to replace their Jack, Sir,” Carter added helpfully.

“So, what, they rejected him?” Daniel said with a laugh.

“Is that a possibility, Jack?” the General wanted to know.

“I suppose,” I said slowly, almost reluctantly. Way to go Carter, I thought. She’d given me the perfect out and a reason other than the real one for my kidnapping. It was the natural assumption to make but it sounded so much better coming from Carter than me. “Truthfully, they did seem a little desperate and not altogether with it. I think their Jack’s death hit them hard. I’d say it was an absolute possibility.”

“Then why’d they send you back?” Daniel, ever the voice of reason asked.

“I don’t know, Daniel. Maybe they found a better prospect.”

“Jack, any security risks you can think of, other than them coming back again?”

“They may have been desperate but they’re still Daniel, Carter and Teal’c. I don’t think they’ll be back. Whatever they were looking for, I didn’t do it for them.” Oy, if only George knew exactly how much I did do it for Daniel and Carter, my ass would be in a holding cell pretty freaking fast.

“Colonel, please go with Doctor Fraiser. And Doctor, I’d like the results of your examination as soon as humanly possible. Okay, folks, SG1 is on stand down for a week,” General Hammond barked. He didn’t like when things got strange, especially under his nose. He was well up for the challenge otherwise he wouldn’t head up the SGC, but he preferred it when the weird shit happened on the other side of the gate. Unfortunately for him, lots of weird shit came through the gate and landed on his lap.

I went with Janet and was subjected to her usual thorough exam and ritual bloodletting including her small latex covered fingers up my ass. I never understood why she felt that a necessary part of her exam but I suspected it had to do with the fact she was a woman and liked to stick it to the guys whose health she was responsible for. She let me go finally, after giving me a lecture on the recommended amount of sleep.

I tried not to take Janet’s lecture to heart, especially when I remembered the reason for my lack of sleep. I couldn’t regret spending much of the last three days holding Daniel in my arms and kissing him senseless. It had definitely been worth giving up sleep for his beautiful mouth.

I felt the need for my Daniel and headed to his office. I planned on playing on his good nature and asking him for a ride home knowing I’d be able to get him to spend a couple of days with me. All I needed was some time with him; time I planned on using to see if I had a chance with him.

I felt a little uncomfortable knowing I was going to use my new gift to see how Daniel felt about me but not bad enough to not do it. I’d tell him soon enough if it all worked out, after we were naked, sweaty, and sated. If it didn’t work out, I’d still have to tell him but I’d have to make him believe my telepathy was just another weapon to use against enemies who didn’t have Earth’s best interest at heart.

I had to take the chance. I was going crazy wanting and needing Daniel. I’d spent so much time and energy denying it and all it took was one kiss from an alternate Daniel to break open the floodgates I’d been hiding my love and desire behind. I couldn’t push all my feelings away anymore, wouldn’t and didn’t want to. The love I’d seen in Daniel in the alternate reality had blown me away. I had to have the same shot at happiness, had to give Daniel a chance at happiness too. We’d both earned it and deserved it.

Daniel’s door was open. I took a moment to make sure my tower was in place and then another moment to just look at him. He was at his desk, holding a stone tablet, not engrossed in the writing as was usual. He was staring into space, his eyes unfocused, lost in his thoughts. I was so tempted to peek at his thoughts but wouldn’t allow myself to use my telepathic gift on base until I was very sure of my skills.

“Hey, Daniel. Whatcha doing?” I asked in my normal, sure to annoy Daniel voice. He pretended to scowl at me and nodded his head toward the tablet he was holding.

“You mind giving me a ride home? Maybe we’ll order some Thai and catch the History channel special.”

“What special?”

“I don’t know. They’ve always got a special.”

‘The History channel, Jack?”

“I can do culture, Daniel.”

His lips pursed as he thought that over and he looked at me, the speculation clear in his eyes. Got him. “Of course you can do culture, Jack. It’s just that you usually choose not to. I’ll meet you topside in an hour.”

**********

Once we got home, I gave Daniel my credit card and told him to order whatever he wanted and to double it up. I was starved; sleep wasn’t the only thing I’d gotten in short supply over the last few days. Too busy feeding Daniel and enjoying his mouth on my fingers to think about putting much food in my stomach.

I also needed to shower. I had been allowed to bathe each day but there hadn’t been time today. I didn’t shower at the base because I was reluctant to wash the scent of Daniel away. But now I could smell him along with his arousal and mine. I couldn’t believe my Daniel hadn’t caught the heavy telltale scent of two guys in heat.

I’d never wanted to keep a lovers scent on me for longer than it took me to get out of bed, not even Sara’s. I remember when we used to make love in the morning; she wouldn’t shower till much later on in the day. She told me she liked smelling me on her all day. She particularly liked the scent of herself when I’d kiss her after going down on her. Taking away Daniel’s scent this morning was the first time I ever understood why Sara never rushed to wash after sex.

It was a vivid reminder and was sexy as hell. Made me hot every time I’d catch the scent. But I was contemplating getting my Daniel naked and horizontal or at least getting close enough to kiss him for a few hours. The thought of him smelling another man on me, even if it was another Daniel sent chills up and down my spine. Daniel wasn’t a causal one-night stand or a buddy fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I knew going in it would be serious and that’s exactly what I wanted from him, serious love and forever.

After I showered I lay down intending to rest until our food was delivered. When I awoke it was dark out and I was a tad disoriented. Daniel was in my bedroom switching on the light telling me a two-hour nap was long enough and I should come and eat. I lowered my tower and concentrated.

‘Missed you, Jack. So glad you’re home.’

That sounded … promising. No proof yet, but I hadn’t spent years in Special Ops learning to bide my time to fuck it all up now by rushing.

In the dining room, Daniel had set the table and put out the food, all of which still looked hot. He looked sheepishly at me. “I came in to see what you wanted and you were sleeping, so I only ordered a little while ago. My treat by the way. A welcome home dinner.”

“Thanks, Daniel. It all looks great. What do we have?”

“Green Mango Salad, Crab and Cabbage Salad, Shrimp Coconut Curry, Garlic Shrimp, Red Curry Beef, and Mango Sticky Rice.”

It looked like Daniel had ordered enough food to feed SG1 for two days. That was fine by me. Daniel had doubled up on the shrimp knowing it was my favorite. We sat and ate and talked, drinking icy cold beer to chase the sting of the curry. I looked into his mind a couple of times but all I got was his pleasure in the food and a deep contentment from being with me.

Daniel insisted on cleaning up after dinner and I let him. I could see all the questions he wanted to ask lurking in his blue eyes but I wasn’t ready to answer quite yet. Daniel knew me too well. Hammond and everyone else may have bought my story but I think Daniel had caught on I knew more than I was telling.

After Daniel had finished cleaning up, I poured us two large glasses of Remy. We settled in comfortably on my couch, warming our brandies. Looking at Daniel, taking in his face and expressive eyes, I couldn’t help but smile. “So, Daniel, I never knew you had such a ruthless streak. Your alternate didn’t think twice about zatting me.”

“Yeah, well, you know I’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done. What was he like anyway?”

I looked into his mind, feeling more like an intruder than a man in love every time I did it. I just needed one sign that he wanted me, just one thought and I’d tell him everything. I knew I couldn’t go through with my original plan of telling him after we’d made love. That would’ve made it seem too close to rape in my book. I loved him and I couldn’t fuck this up, not the way I wanted and needed him in my life. All I got this time was the phrase ‘tell me, Jack, please tell me.’

“He was older than you, Daniel. Older and harder and damaged by life and sadder than you can possibly imagine.”

“Jack, are you ever gonna tell me what really happened?” he asked in a soft voice, letting me know it was safe.

“Didn’t buy my story, huh?”

“Well, duh. This is me, Jack. Remember, I’m your best friend.”

I looked into his mind again and bingo. I heard him thinking, ‘yeah, Jack. I’m also the guy that wants you to throw me over your shoulder and carry me into your bedroom, of course I didn’t buy your story.’

“Daniel, I promise I’ll tell you everything, but I promised your alternate I’d give you something.” I hadn’t promised any such thing but it was the only way I could think of making a move on him without him freaking out or exposing myself to complete humiliation, or worse, outright rejection. Even though I now had proof he wanted me, it didn’t mean he was ready for a relationship with me or was willing to take the chance on harming the team.

I scooted over a bit and put my hand on the back of his neck, my fingers twisting up into his hair. I saw his eyes widen as I leaned over and slanted my lips against his. I drew back a little and his hand grabbed the back of my head, pulling me in for another kiss. Feeling his lips part, my tongue teased him, begging to be allowed in. I was already at don’t ever wanna stop, but I broke the kiss off before I got to can’t stop.

Daniel, with a look of disbelief in his eyes and a small dreamy smile said in a rasping voice, “You know you have to tell me everything now, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Danny. I do.” We slowly sipped at our brandy while I told him most of the truth. I didn’t think it would serve any purpose telling him about the time the other Daniel and I had spent wrapped around each other and I didn’t tell him about the whole saving another planet only to get exposed to a lethal dose of radiation thing. Carter and I would be having a long talk about the coordinates and location of that planet and how to make those coordinates disappear in the very near future.

I’d taken hold of Daniel’s hand early in my confession, stroking it and interlacing out fingers together. I found it hard to look at him while I was talking, hoping the whole time he wouldn’t reject me because of what had been done to me against my will. It was only toward the end that I realized his other hand was alternating between playing in my hair and massaging the back of my neck and that he was practically in my lap.

When I finished talking I sat back and waited for his reaction. “So, this … gift may possibly save your life one day?” he asked.

“That’s what they told me. I have no reason to doubt them.”

“Have you been in my head all night, Jack?”

“No, Daniel, I swear. Only three or four … alright maybe five times. But only to try to find out how you felt about me. I was a little scared to just start kissing you, I didn’t want you to hit me or anything,” I said, trying to keep my tone amused and not pathetic. “And, you know, I – I love you, don’t you?”

“ Kinda figured that one out, Jack. You realize I should be seriously pissed at you, right?”

“I know, Danny.”

“I hope you know we have to tell Sam and Teal’c. About everything.”

“Yes, Daniel, I know.”

“And you know you have to stay out of our minds unless our lives are in danger, right?”

“I know, Daniel.”

“Well, as long as we got that straight, I think it’s time for bed, don’t you?”

“Daniel?”

He looked in my eyes, his eyes smiling and tender. His hand gently skimmed my face, tracing my lips. “Do I really have to say it, Jack?”

“Not if you don’t want to, Daniel. It’s just that I want you … I want us both to be sure.”

“I’m sure, Jack. Sure that you love me and very sure that I love you.”

“Bed, Daniel.”

He chuckled as I grabbed his hand and sort of ran to my bedroom. I guess I was the tiniest bit anxious to get him naked and horizontal. But who could blame me? I didn’t think there were too many people who could look at Doctor Daniel Jackson and not see his incredible beauty, at least that’s the way I saw things.

As soon as the door was closed, I gathered him close. The first time we had kissed, I was by turns scared, nervous, and then surprised. I hadn’t taken the time to truly enjoy my first brief taste of him.

Now I gently cradled Daniel’s face in my hands, angling my face so I could lick his lips. He opened sweetly, his tongue darting out to tangle with mine. The kiss slid from gentle to passionate between one beat of my heart and the next and then we were trying to eat each other’s faces. I could hear Daniel moaning as he took my breath away.

“Clothes, Daniel. We’re wearing too many,” I gasped out. I had to touch him, feel his heat and satiny skin against mine.

We ripped at each other’s clothes, hands shaking, both of us breathing harshly.

We were naked and on the bed faster than I would have thought possible, both of us on our sides and immediately reaching for each other.

Daniel clung to me, delivering tiny, nibbling bites along my jaw, chin and neck while his hands roamed my body, pleasure coursing through me in wave after wave.

I couldn’t keep my hands from his body, skimming gently over his biceps, thighs, buttocks and chest.

I slid my hands under his arms, grasping him near to me and rolled him onto his back. His legs spread, and wrapped themselves tightly around my body. He was as hard as I was and I could feel the throb of his penis in counterpoint against mine.

I thrust down as he thrust up against me. We found our rhythm quickly as we so often did in life, lips locked to lips, and it felt as though we’d been making love for years. We just fit, each of us giving and taking in equal measure.

Our bodies were moving together, the sweat beginning to slick and ease our movements. Daniel wrenched his mouth from mine, burying his face in my neck as his breath sobbed hot and harshly against my skin.

I found his hands and intertwined our fingers. We were both at the outer limits of our control and I knew neither of us could last much longer. I raised my upper body slightly as I felt Daniel’s hips stuttering madly against me. I wanted to see him, see his face as he came for me.

Daniel’s neck arched as he ground his head into the pillows, his entire body straining. He stiffened and stilled, calling out my name and I felt wet heat splashing my groin and belly.

I could no longer hold back, the sight of Daniel coming shoved me off the precipice and I moaned my way through the most intense orgasm I’d had in years.

Shaken and shaking, I dropped onto Daniel, panting and trying to get enough brain cells together to move off of him. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind. I felt his hands in my hair stroking and heard him murmuring and whispering to me in Italian.

When my breath and heartbeat returned to normal, I rolled us over relishing his weight pinning me down along with the feel of his skin covering mine. He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against mine.

My hand began tracing his face, memorizing his strong jaw and pouty mouth as I’d longed to do. “I’ve been waiting for you for awhile now, Daniel.”

“I think I’ve known that on some level for quite some time, Jack, but I couldn’t. Not while there was still a chance of finding Sha’re.”

“I know, Daniel. I’m sorry, really. I hoped for a different outcome.”

He moved his leg on top of mine, his arms holding me possessively, my arms holding him. “It’s funny, Jack. As much as I wanted to find her, I never thought it would end well. I’ve been mourning her since she was taken. I’m … ready, Jack. Ready to move on. With you. I’ve - - I’ve wanted you, Jack. I just couldn’t do anything about it. Not until it was over.”

“I want to make love with you, Daniel. I want to be inside of you. And I want you inside me. We’ll wait if you want, but I need you to know that. This is it for me, you’re it for me and I want it all.”

“I want that also and I don’t want to wait. I want to stay here and know that tomorrow I’ll be waking up to love.”

“You will be, Daniel.”

There wasn’t much to say after that. We’d always been able to communicate without words and now we let our hands, lips and tongues do our talking. I felt my blood do a slow glide down as my cock responded to Daniel’s tender love.

We took turns licking and kissing each other’s bodies, a slow and careful exploration that became incendiary and passionate. We drove each other from wanting to desperate and trembling.

I got the lubrication I always kept in my nightstand and put it within easy reach. Then I put Daniel on his stomach and slid my tongue down his muscular back and then to his ass, working my way up and down his cleft.

I circled my tongue and lapped at his opening, making him squirm and writhe. When he began pushing himself against me, I stiffened my tongue and pushed inside of him. He was moaning my name over and over against the pillow, his body bucking and thrusting.

I slid my arms around his waist and raised his up a bit, “Daniel, are you sure?” I asked.

“Jesus, Jack. Did you need a gold plated invitation? Hurry up and fuck me,” he groaned.

The crudeness of his words was nearly enough to send me spiraling over the edge. I applied the lube and slowly entered him, Daniel opening to me and helping the process along with tiny thrusts.

“Christ, Danny. You feel so good.” He was so tight and his heat was making my blood boil. I began to stroke in and out, slowly and gently, Daniel met each thrust, at first keeping to my pace. I changed my angle slightly in order to hit his prostate and gentle and slow became harder and faster.

Both of us were freely sweating and Daniel began to claw at the sheets, as he demanded to be fucked harder. I could feel his hips thrust faster as I reached around to grab his cock. I felt him swell slightly in my hand, felt him throbbing and then heard him howling as he came.

His muscles clenching at me tore the orgasm from my body. I came screaming Daniel’s name as his body milked me and pure feeling and pleasure crashed throughout my body. I was again left breathless and shaking, feeling waves of pleasure for long minutes after I came.

Withdrawing carefully, I gathered a boneless Daniel to me. I knew I was never gonna let him go. He snuggled into my arms and was sleeping within moments. I brushed my lips over his head and whispered, “We’ll both be waking up to love from now on, Daniel.”

### Alternate Reality/Epilogue

It took us four years. Four years of Jacks, four years of searching, always wanting and never getting. Until we did.

The further we got from our reality, the more the realities diverged. We still encountered many worlds that were similar to our own but more often there were realities that were vastly different from ours. Realities in which Jack was dead or retired, realities where I was dead or had never been born, realities where Sam was married, or not in the program and everything in between. There were realities in which the Stargate may have never been found and the quantum mirror was on alien worlds or in the room where we had found it originally. So many paths taken and not taken.

But we’d found no reality where either one of us could be with Jack. He always had a Daniel or Sam or was still with Sara. We’d even seen him with Janet in a few realities.

The day we found a home began, as we’d always known it would, exactly like any other. We sent a Jack through the mirror and planned to go get another one. We’d seen Jack in this reality but no Daniel, Sam or Teal’c. The mirror was in Robert Rothman’s lab and I wondered what he did in this reality and how he’d gotten into the program.

We went through early in his reality, while he was alone. When he saw us stepping out of the mirror, he blinked and stared with his mouth hanging open, disbelief plain in his eyes.

“D-D Daniel, T Teal’c,” he stuttered.

I moved to his side, letting him see the zat. We’d had to refine our methods in every reality where there was no Sam or Daniel. “Hi, Robert.”

“Daniel, you and Teal’c died two years ago.”

Guess that explained a few things. “And Sam?”

“Sam who?”

“Samantha Carter, Major Carter,” I said by way of explanation.

“Any relation to General Carter?” he asked

“My father,” Sam said, speaking for the first time.

“The only thing I can tell you is General Carter lost his wife and daughter in a car accident years ago. I’m sorry, I don’t know what her name was.”

“Robert, can you please call Jack down here for us?” I asked.

“Sure, Daniel.”

“General O’Neill, can you please come to my lab? There’s something you’re going to want to see. And bring your guest.”

The words were out of his mouth before we could stop him. I grabbed him around his neck, the zat at his head. “How many are we gonna have to fight off?” I bit out, my voice low and harsh in his ear.

“None,” Robert said, his voice shaking. “General O’Neill’s brother is with him, Daniel. I swear, just the General and his brother, they meet every day at this time.

Sam and Teal’c had already moved to where they could not be seen. If Robert had lied, we’d still be able to get to the mirror. I kept a hold on Robert just in case we needed a hostage. I moved us so we’d be out of sight when the door opened.

The door opened and Jack walked in and so did … Jack? There were two of them, one dressed in the familiar green fatigues and the other in jeans and a tee. Twins. This was a first. I stepped into view and both of them looked surprised to see me; one pair of brown eyes in particular turning warm with recognition.

“Daniel,” Jack whispered.

The General took charge of the situation as Sam and Teal’c came into view. “Anybody want to tell me what’s going on?”

Sam’s wide eyes looked at me for conformation and when I nodded she began explaining. It took her nearly a half hour with the General stopping her now and then to ask a question or two for clarification.

When she was done, we got our own explanation. General Jason O’Neill had taken over as commander of the Stargate facility when General Hammond retired. Colonel Jack O’Neill had retired when he came through the gate two years ago, having lost his team to hostiles. He’d been badly injured and was eaten up with guilt after losing Doctor Daniel Jackson, Louis Ferretti and Teal’c. He’d been offered a variety of positions along with a promotion to entice him to stay, but he refused them all.

Jack was now a civilian consultant to the SGC. In addition to being a security expert, he designed and taught classes on first contact and strategy to all members of the SGC, setting up the teams and making sure they were all prepared for maximum effectiveness.

Jack couldn’t take his eyes off me. I felt his hungry gaze and wondered what his relationship with his Daniel had been like and how he’d survived the guilt of losing his team. I met his stare with one of my own and hoped that we had all found a home.

Sam and Jason seemed to be getting along just fine. Sam was as soft and contented as I’d seen her since that awful day we lost Jack. I’d forgotten she could be so beautiful. Jason seemed to think so as well; his eyes never left her face and his eyes softened whenever her eyes met his.

Jason eventually made a command decision and let us know all three of us would be welcome here. The skills each of us brought were needed. Sam and I were told we could stay on in a scientific capacity, while Teal’c was offered a position on an off world team.

The three of us said yes. I’m not sure if we found redemption after four years but we were tired and lonely and ready to start living again.

As we left Robert’s lab, Jack escorted me out with his hand at the small of my back, our eyes met and he smiled.

“So, Daniel,” he said. “Can I buy you dinner?”

I looked at him, trying to see into his heart and finding exactly what I needed, I nodded my head. I knew I’d come home.


End file.
